The wrong definition of strong

By on Aug 31, 2017 in Blog Posts, Cancer | 5 comments

I’ve been told I am strong more times than I can count this year. Thank you.

The thing is, though, that I don’t feel strong at all. On the best days I feel like I’m doing what any other parent would do. On the worst days…well on the worst days, I long for the oblivion of sleep only to find myself staving off midnight’s monsters whilst thirsting for first-light.

A trip to the dietician

By on Aug 30, 2017 in Blog Posts, Cancer | 5 comments

“Mostly, I like eating sour worms.” Josh told the dietician. His tone was half-way between a confession and a challenge.

On the way here I’d shared my fear that I’d have to defend my any-calorie-is-a-good-calorie stance.

The dietician smiled and looked down at her notes.

Funny beats fear

By on Aug 20, 2017 in Blog Posts, Cancer | 1 comment

Funny is the magic-potion that allows us up to stomp straight into the dragon’s den and look it boldly, unflinchingly right in the eye.

The downward trend

By on Aug 17, 2017 in Blog Posts, Cancer | 2 comments

“You were at 4600 before we started the treatment, then 4400 and now 4200.” She continues.
“That’s great!” I say, “Well done Josh! What’s the normal range?”
She pretends she hasn’t heard me…

A birthday wisher or a cancer carer? A meme watcher or a wheelchair pusher?

By on Aug 15, 2017 in Blog Posts, Cancer | 14 comments

Until this year cancer has always been a slightly sordid word for me. It got stuck in my mouth and came out muttered or garbled: Smmcanther. There’s a piece of me that still worries that either cancer or the misery it brings could be “catchy”.