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Hardship hasn’t make me a better person.

By on May 16, 2018 in Autumn, Blog Posts, Cancer | 3 comments

Our shelves are bursting with “I am a victim off…” stories. These stories are important. They let the author tell their own story and they let us, vicariously, live it too. We seem, though, to have blurred the lines between what is entertaining/educational and what is instruction.

Driving in rain

By on May 7, 2018 in Autumn, Blog Posts, Cancer | 3 comments

I’m driving, always driving. It’s raining. It’s always raining. Sometimes: The rain is torrential. The windscreen wipers flip back and forth at such speed that I am sure they will detach from their housing the fly off across the highway. The drops of rain come down hard and fast; flung furiously from the heavens. Wind howls around me and the car shudders under the onslaught. Each raindrop is so big; it must, surely, contain a cup’s worth of water. I pull over, on the shoulder, and wait for the rain to pass, cringing as the weighty splash back from passing trucks is hurled against me again and again. Sometimes:  The rain is heavy and constant for so long that I forget it is there. My mind wanders to other things. For a moment (a minute, an hour) I think my thoughts and the rain is gone. And then something – maybe the texture of the rain, or a bump in the road or even just my mind itself...

Why I’m not in therapy

By on Apr 11, 2018 in Autumn, Blog Posts, Cancer | 12 comments

Over they years I’ve recommended therapy to any number of clients. But now, when I face days when getting out of bed can feel like an achievement, I’m not going.

I am furious

By on Mar 28, 2018 in Autumn, Blog Posts, Cancer | 7 comments

Of course I have a bloody rage issue.

Thank you, Nancy

By on Mar 26, 2018 in Autumn, Blog Posts | 3 comments

Writing and knowing that someone bears witness to my attempts to make sense of this experience is a huge gift. (Thank you). I admit to feeling a kind of pious, selfless pleasure, this morning, knowing I was giving Nancy that gift. And, as always when I get a little above my station the universe, in the form of Nancy’s story, is quick to turn my thinking on its head.

He made a difference…

By on Mar 22, 2018 in Autumn, Blog Posts, Cancer | 3 comments

The kids in Joshua’s grade had to write a reflective essay this week. They were asked to select a poem or song which reflected something important to them. I got this note from Joshua’s (and my) friend (and teacher to us both) about a different boy in the grade.