The worst day of my life

By on Mar 19, 2018 in Autumn, Blog Posts, Cancer | 8 comments

Last week my surviving son, Chris, handed me a piece of paper with the following essay printed on it. I’m both heartbroken and proud of what he had to say:

Look at the stars

By on Mar 14, 2018 in Autumn, Blog Posts, Cancer | 4 comments

I woke up to the news that Stephen Hawking has died. The world seems a little less bright, a little less clever this morning.


By on Mar 12, 2018 in Blog Posts, Cancer | 5 comments

I should have been happy on Thursday morning when I woke with image of Joshua’s shin front and centre of my mind. I was hoping for something maybe a little more significant than a shin memory but a shin is what I got.


By on Mar 5, 2018 in Blog Posts, Cancer | 14 comments

“I am going to do a full exam but before I do I want to get a little history,” she said. And then I realised my big, giant, insurmountable problem. It wasn’t the lump.

Loss isn’t catchy (or why we should listen to teenagers more)

By on Feb 22, 2018 in Blog Posts, Cancer | 7 comments

In the first draft of this post I wrote “something is wrong when we have to look to our children to show us how to behave” but on rereading it I think perhaps that something is right. Or at least something right is coming into the world.

When the emergency is over…

By on Feb 20, 2018 in Blog Posts, Cancer | 10 comments

For all the books I’ve read and movies I’ve watched I am unprepared for the “afterwards-ness” I’m experiencing. Hollywood doesn’t tell us about what our heroes do the day after the universe is saved. I suppose scrubbing out the stains in a hero’s cape isn’t a story.